How About Those Secret Agents

I was a little afraid to write this one down because I'm paranoid that the government is going to come and get me. Is it really just paranoia or will the big bad gubment really come to get a clueless jerk like me for writing down my goofy dream about them? We'll soon see!

Okay, let's get this one going, shall we? Strap yourselves in.

I dreamed I was a cop. Not the best cop or anything like that. Just a normal everyday cop, which is kind of disappointing because I like to be the best at whatever I do. Anyway, a group of us had been assigned to visit the CIA headquarters in a nearby city for a meeting about something that I never quite figured out from the dream.

We were in a group of five. There were four of us regular cops and our commander. I don't know why this would be significant, but I remember that the commander was a woman and the rest of us were men. The things you remember from a dream, huh?

So, we drove up to the guard shack at CIA headquarters to check in. They made us go through all kinds of stuff to identify ourselves for some reason. We kind of figured that it was just the way the big boys did things. You had to have security at an important place like this.

Then we drove through the huge parking lot and saw that this place was a shiny and very impressive new building. We drove around a bit to get a really good look at the place. As we got to the other side of the parking lot we saw the place that sat next door to this one.

Next door was another huge parking lot of a shopping center type place. The shopping center consisted of nothing but fast food places. You know, like McDonald's and Taco Bell. But there were lots of them. This place must have had every fast food chain in existence, but in multiples. What I mean is that there were at least seven McDonald's, and the others were in similar numbers. And each building looked shiny and new. All in the same shopping area.

The fast food area was packed with cars and people. They were all coming and going in large crowds. This was obviously a very popular place to eat. How strange considering the location. The whole setup seemed weird to me, but no one else seemed to notice for some reason.

After we marveled at the fast food complex we decided that it was time to go to our meeting inside the CIA building.

Once we got inside to the reception area a man sitting at one of the desks loudly informed us that we were about to take place in an experiment of some sort. Several men in suits walked into the room and waited near us. That's when the man's phone rang and he told our commander that it was for her.

She answered the phone and a man told her that one of the men in suits had been poisoned as part of a little experiment. All she had to do to prevent his death in a few minutes was to repeat out loud the words he was about to say. Then he mumbled something into the phone that she couldn't quite hear.

The commander, in a near panic told him to repeat it because she couldn't hear him the first time. He repeated it a little louder, but still too quietly, and he mumbled. This went on several more times before the guy on the phone loudly and clearly said, "The words are Yoga Pants."

The commander then looked over at the men in suits and frantically yelled, "Yoga pants! Yoga pants!"

The men looked at her as if she was nuts. The men actually had no idea they were part of this experiment. None of the rest of us knew anything about this new spy technology of curing a person of poison with a spoken phrase. But it was all true.

The commander thought she had made everything alright, but in about two minutes one of those men fell over dead.

The man at the desk then stood up and said in a nonchalant manner, "Hmm, we really thought it was going to work this time. I wonder what went wrong." He didn't seem to care about the dead man at all.

As we stood there watching the desk guy got off the phone and said, "I think I figured it out. Only two men in our seven groups died today, which was a small blow to our little experiment, but we're getting close to success. I think the problem here was these two large air vents over here. The other man also was located near large air vents. I'm going to get a bonus for this."

That's when one of the office doors opened and a man stepped out and said to us," Officers, it's time for the meeting. Come on in."

I guess the meeting wasn't important to the dream, because the next thing I knew the meeting was over. The office guy told us as we were leaving that he encouraged us to go over to the fast food complex to get some lunch. The commander agreed that it was an excellent idea.

When we got to the fast food complex we decided to try one of the many McDonald's after touring several of the other places. We were all impressed by the people and the food we were seeing. All of the staff at each place looked perfect, the restaurants all were spotless and gleaming, and the food looked like it came right out of the commercials it was so perfect.

I looked at the other three and realized that we were supposed to be five. We were missing one. The commander called the CIA building to ask if they had seen him. They informed her that they discovered that our fifth needed surgery so they held him back to give it to him for free. We never saw him again.

As the other three were ordering their food I decided that I just wasn't very hungry right now. Even though nobody else could see it, I thought the whole setup was really too suspicious for me. As the commander ordered a drink and some fries for herself, she asked me if I at least wanted something to drink. I told her no, I wasn't thirsty either. I really didn't want to end up as part of some CIA experiment.

After we finished our food and were driving back to the police station I wondered what was going to happen to the others after eating there. But some part of me really didn't want to know.


And that's when I woke up. I remembered all the details of this long dream. I knew I had to share this one, but I was a little afraid to do it. But now you know the whole thing. So if I disappear from the internet after this, maybe you all know why.


  1. You must have slept too long for a lengthy dream like this.

    1. I've had much stranger dreams than this one. Sometimes even a short sleep can give me a long dream like this. Time is a little bit different between the dream world and the real world sometimes.

  2. I'm amazed that you can remember all this detail from dreams. I couldn't even tell you if I dream or not.

    1. I remember this much detail in only some of my dreams. Most of them are either too strange for me to describe them or I can't remember them well enough. I just have so many dreams that some like this one pop up frequently.


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