Saturday, December 10, 2016

Automatic Writing

I wasn't going to write this dream down at first because it kind of disturbed me. But then I remembered that this is the exact kind of dream that I'm supposed to write about. It was also kind of a difficult decision because my dreams have been a bit murky lately so they're too hard to remember. That makes it kind of hard too, but let's try with this one anyway. So here it is.

I remember sitting in a house I had just moved into. It was kind of dark and shadowy in the house so I knew this wasn't going to be a positive experience. I was reading a self improvement book, which I often do. I like looking for techniques to make myself a better me. But this particular book was getting a little strange.

The book was suggesting that I try a thing called automatic writing, which is a technique where a person uses alleged psychic ability allowing a person to produce written words without consciously writing. You hold a pen or pencil to paper while not paying conscious attention to it. The words are claimed to arise from a subconscious, spiritual or supernatural source.

The book told me to hold a pencil to a piece of paper with my non-writing hand and let myself kind of drift into a daze or half sleep. Then it said my subconscious would write down life improving advice for me. Because of the negative mood of the dream and my real life knowledge I was more than a little skeptical.

What I was remembering was that allegedly in some stories what really happened in these situations was that a spirit, maybe good or evil, would take over your hand for the writing session. Later that same spirit could stick around and cause a few problems. I don't know what I really believe about this, but I didn't want to take any chances.

I remember looking around the room and seeing that the shadows and darkness were expanding out from every corner. That was a good indication that doing something that possibly stretched into the occult wasn't a very good idea at this time.

An even more immediate problem was that it seemed there was a voice in my head that seemed to be intensely urging me to do it. It kept telling me that I was being ridiculous by refusing. It said that trying it just once wouldn't hurt anything. The voice kept getting more and more intense. I have learned over the years that this is exactly the reason to refuse something. So I did just that every time it said to do it.

I abruptly woke from my dream while in the act of refusing this voice. I'm not sure why but I felt the urge to look around my bedroom to make sure there was nobody else there. I was glad to see that I was alone. But I had this awful lingering feeling that I had just barely avoided something very bad. I still felt disturbed by the whole experience for quite some time after I awoke. So here I am writing down everything that I can remember. That's my story.

Friday, September 16, 2016

A Strange Woman

A few nights ago I woke up and immediately knew I was still asleep and dreaming. How did I know? The room was different than any room I'd ever seen in the real world. I still recognized it as my own bedroom, but I really had never seen it before. And there was something else there too.

Standing against the wall staring at me in the dark was a Chinese woman. How do I know she was Chinese? I just knew. I guess that part doesn't matter, but it was a detail that I strongly noticed. So it did matter quite a bit. I had the strong feeling that this had happened before, but I didn't remember it at all.

I have no idea why I would dream about a Chinese woman, but there she was. I don't know many Chinese women, and I hadn't seen any on television lately. I do have a neighbor who is Chinese, but I hadn't thought about them in quite some time. So I guess that made the dream kind of strange. But wait, there's more strangeness yet to come.

You see, this woman was only about three feet tall. She didn't look strange compared to a normal human except that she was small. She was otherwise a normal adult human. I feel like her clothing was an older style, but I can't really be sure because I don't exactly remember. She also looked kind of faded or washed out, like she wasn't full color. It was kind of ghostly looking.

But the disturbing part of the whole thing was the way she was looking at me. It wasn't in a very friendly way, and kind of creepy. She didn't have a look of hate on her face, but she clearly wasn't a friend. She looked like she was there for a reason, and I don't think her intentions were good. But I also didn't necessarily perceive her to have evil intentions either.

The thing is that I didn't like the way she was looking at me. So I had to do something about it. I learned a log time ago to take action in my dreams so I could keep control and prevent them from turning bad.

I knew this strange woman didn't belong there in my room, so I jumped up out of bed and yelled at her that she didn't belong there and she had to leave my house now.

With those words she turned to her left and ran! As she got to the wall she dove between the wall and my dresser. And she was gone.

As soon as she disappeared I woke up for real. I had the feeling that this dream could have turned somehow bad, but my actions prevented that. But it was a memorable dream that was too odd to make much sense, so I leave it to any of you to try to interpret it.

Monday, September 5, 2016

Doggy Doppelganger

I woke up and saw my dog sitting on my bed looking at me. I immediately knew something wasn't quite right. For one thing, when I went to sleep my dog wasn't in the room and the door was shut. When I thought about all of this I realized I was actually still asleep and in the middle of another strange dream of a kind I've had a few times before.

Since I knew the dog wasn't really there with me I asked this one if it was really my dog. As soon as the words were out of my mouth this doppelganger began to growl at me. I knew from experience that the growl was the indicator that meant this dog was false. This creature was only pretending to be my dog. So I smacked it in the face and told it to go away. Off it went.

Then came another lookalike dog. I told it that I knew it was an imposter and it should leave. This one also began to growl so I hit it on the head and it left me.

After that a third one appeared to me. I asked this one if it was my real dog or a fake. It just sat there acting like my very own pet should act. I then told it I would give it a small chance since it appeared to be my real dog. I wasn't really fooled. But I reached out to pet this one to make it think that I had been. Then the telltale growl came. I quickly banished this one as well. That was the end of the imposters and the end of the dream.

I have dreams like this one every once in a while. I often wonder why I have this dream and why the creature's hostility is the indicator of its trickery. And why do they keep trying to trick me? Are they evil? They are obviously not good. Why do they try to test me? It never really works. Maybe writing this down will finally put an end to this strange repetitive dream.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Was It Really A Dream?

Here's a short dream of a kind that I get way too often. I'm sometimes not even sure if these things are real dreams or something even more strange. Read on to find out why.

I was lying there peacefully sleeping when I felt somebody messing with my blankets. It was down around where my feet were. I was still mostly asleep so all I could do was mumble to whoever it was to leave me alone. That didn't work at all, and I continued to feel my blankets being messed with.

I was able to rouse myself slightly more, which was not much. Even though I was still mostly asleep, I was able to lift my head enough to see down at the foot of the bed. Everything looked blurry and dreamy because I just wasn't awake enough to function any more than that.

The significant thing I saw when I looked down there was that my blanket was being lifted about two feet off the bed by an invisible hand. It really looked like my blanket was being lifted in one spot right above my feet.

The strange thing was that there was nobody I could see and my bedroom looked exactly as it does in the waking world. In most dreams there are usually major differences from reality in the appearance of my immediate area. Not this one. That was disturbing.

The first thought that came to my mind was to yell at whatever invisible entity that was there to, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

That's exactly what I did. The blankets then immediately dropped back to the bed and I sensed that whatever had been there was now gone. And because I felt I couldn't wake up all the way I just closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

Later I woke up like normal and I remembered the dream. But was it a dream? How can I be sure? There were none of the indicators of a dream except for the strange incident. I guess I'll never really know.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

How About Those Secret Agents

I was a little afraid to write this one down because I'm paranoid that the government is going to come and get me. Is it really just paranoia or will the big bad gubment really come to get a clueless jerk like me for writing down my goofy dream about them? We'll soon see!

Okay, let's get this one going, shall we? Strap yourselves in.

I dreamed I was a cop. Not the best cop or anything like that. Just a normal everyday cop, which is kind of disappointing because I like to be the best at whatever I do. Anyway, a group of us had been assigned to visit the CIA headquarters in a nearby city for a meeting about something that I never quite figured out from the dream.

We were in a group of five. There were four of us regular cops and our commander. I don't know why this would be significant, but I remember that the commander was a woman and the rest of us were men. The things you remember from a dream, huh?

So, we drove up to the guard shack at CIA headquarters to check in. They made us go through all kinds of stuff to identify ourselves for some reason. We kind of figured that it was just the way the big boys did things. You had to have security at an important place like this.

Then we drove through the huge parking lot and saw that this place was a shiny and very impressive new building. We drove around a bit to get a really good look at the place. As we got to the other side of the parking lot we saw the place that sat next door to this one.

Next door was another huge parking lot of a shopping center type place. The shopping center consisted of nothing but fast food places. You know, like McDonald's and Taco Bell. But there were lots of them. This place must have had every fast food chain in existence, but in multiples. What I mean is that there were at least seven McDonald's, and the others were in similar numbers. And each building looked shiny and new. All in the same shopping area.

The fast food area was packed with cars and people. They were all coming and going in large crowds. This was obviously a very popular place to eat. How strange considering the location. The whole setup seemed weird to me, but no one else seemed to notice for some reason.

After we marveled at the fast food complex we decided that it was time to go to our meeting inside the CIA building.

Once we got inside to the reception area a man sitting at one of the desks loudly informed us that we were about to take place in an experiment of some sort. Several men in suits walked into the room and waited near us. That's when the man's phone rang and he told our commander that it was for her.

She answered the phone and a man told her that one of the men in suits had been poisoned as part of a little experiment. All she had to do to prevent his death in a few minutes was to repeat out loud the words he was about to say. Then he mumbled something into the phone that she couldn't quite hear.

The commander, in a near panic told him to repeat it because she couldn't hear him the first time. He repeated it a little louder, but still too quietly, and he mumbled. This went on several more times before the guy on the phone loudly and clearly said, "The words are Yoga Pants."

The commander then looked over at the men in suits and frantically yelled, "Yoga pants! Yoga pants!"

The men looked at her as if she was nuts. The men actually had no idea they were part of this experiment. None of the rest of us knew anything about this new spy technology of curing a person of poison with a spoken phrase. But it was all true.

The commander thought she had made everything alright, but in about two minutes one of those men fell over dead.

The man at the desk then stood up and said in a nonchalant manner, "Hmm, we really thought it was going to work this time. I wonder what went wrong." He didn't seem to care about the dead man at all.

As we stood there watching the desk guy got off the phone and said, "I think I figured it out. Only two men in our seven groups died today, which was a small blow to our little experiment, but we're getting close to success. I think the problem here was these two large air vents over here. The other man also was located near large air vents. I'm going to get a bonus for this."

That's when one of the office doors opened and a man stepped out and said to us," Officers, it's time for the meeting. Come on in."

I guess the meeting wasn't important to the dream, because the next thing I knew the meeting was over. The office guy told us as we were leaving that he encouraged us to go over to the fast food complex to get some lunch. The commander agreed that it was an excellent idea.

When we got to the fast food complex we decided to try one of the many McDonald's after touring several of the other places. We were all impressed by the people and the food we were seeing. All of the staff at each place looked perfect, the restaurants all were spotless and gleaming, and the food looked like it came right out of the commercials it was so perfect.

I looked at the other three and realized that we were supposed to be five. We were missing one. The commander called the CIA building to ask if they had seen him. They informed her that they discovered that our fifth needed surgery so they held him back to give it to him for free. We never saw him again.

As the other three were ordering their food I decided that I just wasn't very hungry right now. Even though nobody else could see it, I thought the whole setup was really too suspicious for me. As the commander ordered a drink and some fries for herself, she asked me if I at least wanted something to drink. I told her no, I wasn't thirsty either. I really didn't want to end up as part of some CIA experiment.

After we finished our food and were driving back to the police station I wondered what was going to happen to the others after eating there. But some part of me really didn't want to know.

--

And that's when I woke up. I remembered all the details of this long dream. I knew I had to share this one, but I was a little afraid to do it. But now you know the whole thing. So if I disappear from the internet after this, maybe you all know why.

Monday, May 30, 2016

Slapped In The Face

I bet this never happened to you. I couldn't remember this one for a couple of days. It would have been a very bad shame if I couldn't share it. Make sure you read to the end for the strange twist this dream takes. Really, please tell me if anything like this has ever happened to you.

Most of it looked like my typical strange dream, which is to say that this dream was indeed a weird one. It started out normal enough though. I dreamed I was watching a small group of professional wrestlers at an autograph signing. I've never seen that in real life, but I've seen a few rock stars do this.

The wrestlers were doing all of those autograph signing things. They were sitting at a table as fans were lined up as far as the eye could see. The lines would move forward as each fan would get to the front of the line and get the wrestlers to sign something and maybe have a brief conversation. Eventually it was time for the wrestlers to leave, so they said their goodbyes, packed up and left the building. It was all pretty standard stuff. It's when they came back that the dream got strange.

The wrestlers snuck back in, but this time they were in some very strange disguises. You know how people are basically shaped round. The wrestlers were now square. Their heads were square. Their bodies were square. Everything about them was square. It's as if they were made of boxes.

I remember thinking how really, really strange this was. I wondered how they could get themselves to look this way. That's when I decided to check the internet to see if this was a normal thing for these people. Sure enough, it was some kind of prank they liked to routinely pull at these kinds of events. Again, I thought this was very alien and strange. I must have double checked this five more times to be sure. It was really freaking me out.

As I watched the whole thing happen, the wrestlers began to do poses like robots or something. They would stick their arms out at goofy angles and move around mechanically for the crowd's amusement. I couldn't get over how this was affecting me. I had never seen anything like this before.

And that's when it happened.

I was slapped right in the face! No, not in the dream. This was a real slap to the face, and it woke me right up. How could I be slapped in the face? The only other creature here other than me is my dog. My dog definitely did not just smack me in the face, so who did? Did someone sneak into my house and hit me? Was it a ghost bent on violence?

I have to confess that I immediately knew who did it but I wanted to give you a little suspense. While I was watching those wrestlers pose in those weird ways I must have copied them in my sleep. My arm rose up, and as I began to wake it came back down right onto my face and smacked me as it landed. I slapped my own self in the face!

There. I really want you to tell me if you can top an experience like that. I bet you can't. This may be one of my strangest dreams yet, and it bled over into the real world. I've never had anything like this happen to me before. And this is exactly why I write this blog.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Nazi Propaganda Food

I had this perfect dream. No, just kidding. I'm not sure the perfect dream exists, at least not for me. It's because I just have too many dreams like this one I'm going to tell you about.

First of all, I have to tell you that most of this dream was really a kind of misty chaos that I can't make sense of or really even remember much about. That's what most of my dreams are like, so I don't usually get an opportunity to share them here. But this one had a little bit that was very memorable, so I can share that part with you.

So after a while of drifting through that strange dream mist I began to slowly experience real thoughts and visions. I saw food. And I saw my brother. My brother told me about an idea he had. I thought it was something that I really should do.

I was going to sell this food. It wasn't just any ordinary everyday food. This was special food. It was... get ready for it... Nazi Propaganda Food.

So what exactly is Nazi propaganda food? I have to tell you that I'm really not sure, except that the main ingredient is tater tots, lots of tater tots. I was deep frying the tater tots. I had some of them on one of those weird hot dog rollers I've seen in gas stations and convenience stores on TV. I've only ever seen those rollers on TV for some reason. And there were several other ways I was preparing them but I can't exactly remember them.

And I don't know what exactly these potato nuggets had to do with Nazis. I just knew that with this gimmick these things were going to sell like hotcakes, or I should say like Nazi Propaganda Food. These two concepts naturally just went together.

After I woke up I began to wonder... Did Nazis ever eat tater tots, or were they a more recent invention? Who outside of America eats them? I know tater tots is actually a brand name and some of you may call them something else. Do I have to explain what they are?

Tater tots are those little cylindrical, barrel shaped glob of minced potatoes that I think are originally deep fried at the factory, but we usually cook them in the oven. They're not that special, but I guess they're halfway edible, I guess. I hope that explains it enough for you.

If you who owns the tater tots brand decides to try to sue me for mentioning your wonderful product, you can't do it because I can't help what I dream. And besides, you can consider this a parody, which is perfectly fair game. So there.